First Impressions … what you don’t see, is what you get!
Prelude
As our Chapter Head, Kuya Rene and his wife Ate Susan, the position carries within itself the need to be visible and be the guiding light for all members. Personally, I got to meet and know Kuya Rene and Ate Susan almost immediately upon joining BCBP. They were personable, friendly, and went out of their way to know Ate Lynn and I on a personal level. We therefore got to know them very well and did not rely on perceptions. Most of us however gather our first impressions as one would normally do, without the benefit of prior meeting. And it is this first impression that we are either surprised, impressed, or concerned on how we are perceived by others, especially to those who seek our guidance. So in his own words below, Kuya Rene describes how first impressions played a role in his and Ate Susan’s lives.
I remember a time when I was younger and still in college, my father and I boarded a ship bound for Manila. My father had almost the same build as me, broad shoulders and lean tummy. In the ship, I noticed the guy occupying the cot beside us would be nowhere in sight most of the times. Instead, I would see him talking and chatting with some passengers at the other end of the boat whom I assumed were his friends.
It was when I started visiting Susan at her boarding house that I happened to meet this guy again. He happened to be Susan’s neighbor and we began to meet regularly and got to know each other well. I now understood why he was so aloof during our first meeting at the boat. He thought I was a military officer along with my father. It should be noted that during those times, insurgency problem in Samar was at its height and the military was in bad light.
I would also recall, while playing billiards with the youngest brother of Ate Susan in a rundown billiard house, other players would secretly ask Ate’s brother about me “Who’s is your companion? Is he Chinese or Korean?”. No wonder, he secretly prodded me that we leave immediately.
Yes, there have been many instances when this face of mine gave wrong impressions of myself. But there’s this one my wife Susan loves the most. There was this instance with Ate Susan and I were rushing to catch our church service somewhere in Fuente Osmena. A decent looking man purposely walked up to me and with his hands outstretched for a handshake asked me, “How are you father.” Hesitantly, I replied “I am not a priest?” And the man said, “oh, I am very sorry, I really thought you were my good parish priest friend back home.
Funny, Amusing, Delighting, especially when people said back then I was a Jesse Robredo or Nonoy Aquino look alike! Advantageous? Or disadvantageous? Honestly, I haven’t given it much thought.
I am really more concerned with projecting myself as what you see is what you get. No pretentions. No cover ups. As long as I am walking with the Lord, with a good and sincere heart, I know I will never be out of step. I need not worry about what I don’t know. What’s important is I learn as I go.
I believe there is goodness in every man. As God’s creations, there is always that innate desire in each one of us to do good. Yes, there might be person whose ways might be hard to love, but at the end of the day, love is not just an emotion or a feeling, but a decision for one to make. In my service as your Chapter Head, I always feel that it is my prime duty to give a very sincere pastoral caring to each and every member. I am more inclined to be healing and reconciliation whenever there are issues. And that always start with a dialog and to let “goodness” shine and prevail. After all, we are all God’s servants.